@#%* $%&!!

I'm washing my nice clean bedding... AGAIN! And I mean ALL my bedding. It seems that a certain someone had diarhea, and as I walked into the bedroom to take care of the situation (the smell had wafted out into the living room, you see), that certain someone jumped and landed on her butt, squirting rank diarhea out the sides of her diaper and onto my NICE CLEAN BEDDING!!!! Somehow the squirt was powerful enough to get on the sheet, the fitted sheet, the quilt, the mattress pad, and all the pillow cases. How is that even possible????
The worst part is that the smell has taken over every inch of the house - there's no escaping it. Febreeze has no powers against this evil force, and unfortunately it's negative a million degrees outside so I can't open the windows.
Someone upstairs is messing with me and enjoying every second of it!
Ugh, I have a stink headache.